Statistics and Other Info
...19% of parents in the United States have lost a child, any age, any cause
...Causes of a child's death: miscarriage (43%), illness (27%), accidents (13%), stillbirths (11%) undetermined (5%), SIDS (4%), suicide (3%), and murder (2%) (Note: percentages may be slightly off due to multiple deaths in one family.)
...Most helpful to grieving parents are: family (66%), clergy (12%), friends (11%), books (2%), support groups (2%) and therapists (2%)
...Age of child at time of death: 30% are less than 1-year-old, 30% are over 30 years old and the rest fall in between, the largest catefory being 17% between 22-30 years old.
What Not To Say To a Bereaved Parent
She's in a better place. At least she isn't suffering. God never gives you more than you can bear. This too shall pass. You must stay strong for your other children. You have to go on, life is for the living . Try to think positive. Some are worse off then you are. I understand. Crying won't bring him back. Time will heal your hurt Aren't you over it yet? At least you have another child. God will help you through this.
What You Should Try To Do To Help
Write a poem for the parent. Ackowledge the child's birthday. Accept that the parents are different. Respect their grieving time. Make sur parents take care physically. Help when possible with the siblings. Encourage them to seek a support group. Write a memory down and give them when visiting. Encourage parents to start a scholarship. Just say, "I'm sorry."
Remember him/her to the parents. Let the parents talk if they want to. Send a card or note. Give hugs and cry with the bereaved parent. Just be there for them. Offer to help with daily tasks when visiting. Light a candle at holidays. Praying for the parents or child is comforting. Attend a memorial service or encourage parents to do one for the child. Plant a tree in the child's name or give to charity in the child's name. Take the parent to lunch or a movie